The world has tried everything, but Israelis and Palestinians just won't quit. Peaceful coexistence is a joke. Palestinians won't be satisfied until all Israelis leave Palestine, and Israelis will never leave voluntarily because they have nowhere else to go!
65 years, 7 wars, and 224 UN resolutions later, the conflict still lingers on like a chronic hemorrhoid in the ***hole of the globe.
Well, desperate times call for desperate measures! And so here are the top 5 items on…
Halim's List of Radical Solutions to the Arab Israeli Conflict
5. Forced Cross-breeding
By UN decree, Israelis may only ever sleep with Palestinians and vice versa. Within one generation, the two populations fuse into one, rendering the whole conflict moot.4. Quantum Entanglement
The physics behind this idea is still evolving, but it seems possible for two particles to become quantum-entangled so that they experience a perfect anti-correlation even if separated by great distance. Now if instead of one photon or electron, we can entangle an entire country, we may end up with two copies of Israel. We give the left-spin Israel to Israelis, and right-spin Israel to Palestinians. Wait, or should it be the other way around?3. Walmart
Israelis and Palestinians will never agree to share their holy lands. But, what if there were no holy lands to share? What if we bulldozer every last holy shrine, mosque, temple, and wall in Jerusalem. Down with the Temple Mount, Western Wall, Dome of the Rock, and all the rest of them! On top of the rubble we can then erect a shrine to modern-day lifestyle: A Walmart!2. Induced Amnesia
Everybody knows, if you hit somebody with a brick on the head just right, they might lose their memory but otherwise survive unharmed. Nobody seems to have figured out a way to induce amnesia safely and efficiently, but perhaps we should. After all, if we manage to induce amnesia in every man, woman and child in the Holy Land, we could then convince the lot of them that they are in fact one people. We then sit and watch as they gather around to share hummus and shawarma and smoke sheesha together in peace.And
if all fails
there is always
one
last
final
resort
.
.
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